A Lifetime Of Doin’ It
October 19, 2013

A Lifetime Of Doin’ It

I patrol the internet often to learn, stay informed, and find stuff to write about for redOrbit. Recently, on one of my quests for the latter, I can across an article on the Huffington Post that was a special from Grandparents.com. The article explained six handy secrets for a lifetime of sexual satisfaction from longtime couples. I just had to see what advice they had. So, let’s take a look at these secrets to happy, healthy sex for life.

1) Creativity is Key!

That is right; getting creative helps longtime couples to enjoy copulating for life. As the Huff Post article says, “Boredom happens when you are not making enough effort to bring in something new.” We know this to be true in all aspects of our lives from television to food to work. We like variety. That is why we often say or follow the saying, “Variety is the spice of life.” Cliché? Of course, but it is no less true. Thus it only stands to reason that we also would want creativity and variety with our partners.

As was suggested, sometimes creativity is as simple as changing a room, turning off or on a light, or even adding lotion or a sex toy. The article even suggests checking out CouplesChemistry.com, which is a website where the couple takes a confidential online quiz and the results reveal ways to be more creative. For $129, couples can receive a “Love Kit” based on the results to help. A sampler kit is also available for $80.

2) No judging each other.

Before couples can be creative, they must feel comfortable sharing their interests, which includes making sure that the sex life is a judgment-free zone. Sure, your partner’s interest may not be exactly like your interests, but that makes them no less important for a happy, healthy, equal sex life. The open conversation and experimentation is necessary to a lifetime of good sex.

3) We must be able to laugh.

The article puts it perfectly: “Laughter is a great aphrodisiac.” Sex is messy, noisy, and weird, and sometimes that leads to incredibly funny. The more we laugh at it, the closer we get, which leads to a more intimate connection and better sex.

4) Plan away!

Yeah, okay, so it might seem lame, but as the article explains, “But think about it – when you were dating, didn’t you make dates with one another? And then you spent the week fantasizing about what you’d wear, what it was going to feel like? You were creating anticipation so by the time you got together, you were raring to go.” So, we should recreate that now that we are older and more connected. We should put intention into coupling in that same way we did into courting.

5) Celebrate each other.

We all know that our bodies and looks change as we age. That means that it is likely our sexual needs and interests will, as well. Instead of just assuming we know what the other wants from years of doing it, we need to communicate with our partners to help them know how to best enjoy sex. Change does not mean that how we previously engaged in sex was dissatisfying. It simply means that the body has changed. Celebrate that.

6) Pay attention.

This was perhaps the most shocking to me. The other five I understood, but when the article mentioned that some people multi-task during sex, I was floored. The article said, “According to the 2013 Mobile Consumer Habits study, 9% of people use their smartphones during sex.” That’s just weird. Put down the phone and look your partner, your lover, in the eye. Commit time to them. It is just as important as anything else.

Sex is glorious. For real. These six secrets will hopefully help all of us to remember to revel in that glory and revel in our lovers.

Image Credit: kiuikson / Shutterstock

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Rayshell E. Clapper is an Associate Professor of English at a rural college in Oklahoma where she teaches Creative Writing, Literature, and Composition classes. She has presented her original fiction and non-fiction at several conferences and events including: Scissortail Creative Writing Festival, Howlers and Yawpers Creativity Symposium, Southwest/Texas Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association Regional Conference, and Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association National Conference. Her publications include Cybersoleil Journal, Sugar Mule Literary Magazine, Red Dirt Anthology, Originals, and Oklahoma English Journal. Beyond her written works, she successfully created a writer's group in rural Oklahoma to support burgeoning writers. The written word is her passion, and all she experiences inspires that passion. She hopes to help inspire others through her words.

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