January 11, 2013
Al Roker Goes Commando At White House After Pooping Pants
So your mother showed your prom date your baby pictures? Oh, you were embarrassed? You ain’t got nothin’ on Al Roker!
My dad’s coming up on 50 years old pretty soon, and I’ll never forget this little nugget of knowledge he told me a few years ago.
He said to me very seriously, “Don’t trust your farts.”
Poor old Al Roker could really have benefited from my old man’s advice.
Roker admitted, “I probably went off and ate something I wasn’t supposed to. And as I’m walking to the press room, [I’m thinking] well, I gotta pass a little gas here. I’m walking by myself. Who’s gonna know? Only a little something extra came out. I pooped my pants.”
He probably shouldn’t have had Taco Bell for lunch, and those extra jalapenos? Probably not the best idea either.
Reportedly, Roker rushed to the bathroom where he stripped down, disposed of his drawers, and returned to cover the event without any underwear.
Famous people go commando too! Who knew?
Al had recently underwent gastric bypass surgery in 2002.
Gastric bypass surgery is a procedure that helps people lose weight by changing the way their stomach and small intestine handle the food they ingest.
After the surgery, the patient’s stomach will be smaller, and they will feel full after eating less food.
The food that Roker ate didn’t go into some parts of his stomach and small intestine that break down food. Because of this, his body won’t absorb all of the calories from the food he eats. Also, it’ll cause him to shart.
There are two steps during gastric bypass surgery:
“The first step makes your stomach smaller. Your surgeon will use staples to divide your stomach into a small upper section and a larger bottom section. The top section of your stomach (called the pouch) is where the food you eat will go. The pouch is about the size of a walnut. It holds only about 1 ounce of food. The second step is the bypass. Your surgeon will connect a small part of your small intestine (the jejunum) to a small hole in your pouch. The food you eat will now travel from the pouch into this new opening into your small intestine. Because of this, your body will absorb fewer calories.”
Some reporters led readers to believe that Roker’s accident was partially due to his gastric bypass surgery; for some reason, I doubt it. Maybe it’s just because I’m a cynic.
Spring of 2012 I underwent laparoscopic hiatal hernia repair, which isn’t the exact same surgery, but it’s similar, and I don’t poop on myself.
But I don’t eat Taco Bell either.
All kidding aside, pooping yourself is fairly common after a gastric bypass surgery according to some of the research I’ve done, although, the doctors don’t use such scientific terminology.
Al Roker will never live this one down, but one must wonder. What in the hell caused him to tell Dateline that he sharted at the White House?