November 16, 2012

Alas, Poor Twinkies… I Knew Thee Well

Hostess, the makers of the famous cream-filled yellow pastry tube (and many other fine, funny sounding delectables) has filed for a motion in bankruptcy court to shut down their entire operation. Should this motion go through, no more Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, Sno Balls or even the more wholesome sounding Wonder Bread.

One of America’s favorite treats will go the way of the pastry buffalo.

Our collective response to this news is somewhat interesting though, isn’t it? Already reports are rolling in about a run on the cakes, with some stores saying they sold out of Twinkies within an hour of opening their doors today. When Hostess followed up on their threat to shut down operations after striking employees didn’t show up to work today, they also said they’d continue selling through their existing stock, making the snack cakes nearly worth their weight in gold. Many enterprising individuals went straight to the Internet with their Twinkies, placing them up for bids on eBay. Most of these 10-count boxes of vanilla cream sponge cake are going for less than $10, of course (and many don’t have any bids yet) but as you’d expect there’s one person trying to pass off a single box of Hostess Twinkies for $200,000.

You can also Buy it Now for $250,000.

Had you asked anyone their thoughts on Twinkies one month ago, you might have received a mixture of disgusted expressions and fond, warm memories. At this point in our society, we pretty well know what’s good for us and what’s bad for us.

Salmon: Good.

Smoking: Bad.

Coconut Water: Good

CocaCola: Bad

Tangerines: Good

Twinkies: Oh so very bad.

And yet, it’s usually the not-so-good for us foods that make us the happiest. Twinkies weren’t just sugary, possibly indestructible desserts; They became a sort of comfort food in their 75+ year existence. We knew they were horrible for us, knew they were probably made of several substances we could never pronounce if our lives depended on it…but dammit they were just so good.

Few people (few healthy people) would ever venture to make a Twinkie a part of their everyday diet, but on occasion, few treats could ever beat a Twinkie.

And our relationship with the Hostess with the Mostess became strained somewhere along the way. We tried to give up the Ding Dongs and Ho Hos. We knew they were bad for us and Hostess (bless their souls) never tried to lie to us. They followed the trend for a while and released those Low Fat Twinkies, but who was that fooling?

We largely turned our backs on the foodstuffs and now we’re mourning the possible loss.

Forgive the obvious pun, but we want to have our cake and eat it, too.

Rather, we want to have the option of the Twinkie, want it to be there and readily available for us to reject it.

It’s likely, however, that the Twinkie will be around for many years to follow, and not just because of their alleged 100+ year shelf life.

The bankruptcy court has yet to grant their request to liquidate everything, and if they do, it’s likely some company will pick up the Twinkie trademark.

It’s Twinkie, after all. It just can’t die like this.

It must go on forever, and while I have hope that Twinkie the Kid will be able to survive this stampede and live to rope in the deliciousness once more, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t halfway out the door to buy as many boxes of Twinkies as I can.

Image Credit: Rena Schild / Shutterstock

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