December 3, 2012

Bigfoot Theorized To Be Half Human

Scientists and DNA cultists alike have been theorizing the possibility and finding of Big Foot for two centuries now. Now a leading scientist in DNA mutated genomes thinks she may have just solved the mystery.

It has always been a hot note with scientists to track down and pinpoint the precise location and actuality of a possible Big Foot for almost as long as this countries existence. And despite numerous ‘sightings’ and constant attempts at real proof of a possible match, no one has been able to successfully catch or document their sighting as pertaining to the suspicion of disbelief of the general public. Yet still, the cult following and mythic tale of Big Foot is somewhat of an American classic in horror stories around the camp fire.

Much respect to all who still indulge in campfires.

We may have pin pointed a key important factor in his discovery. Why am I calling Big Foot a he? Because I would hate to think of a woman-in all her elegance and feminine beauty-as a seven foot tall hairy, smelly beast.

Bite me.

Bigfoot may actually have been part human! From a website in a deep, dark part of the internet we found that researchers have actually been conducting DNA tests on possible Big Foot samples. In these samples, the theory of Big Foot as a hybrid species has spanned in the scientific community. They hypothesize that around 15,000 years ago, ancestors of Big Foot may have mated with female Homo Sapients to create a hybrid species.

But the community has been pondering the science world with DNA samples for decades now, why all this hype?

Because it turns out that the DNA presented has traces of human DNA mutated with a form of another species’ with the traits that directly match Big Foot-hairy, tall, etc. So where’s the proof? None yet. Melba S. Ketchum-the leading scientist on this discovery, is still underway with mountains of logged data and almost 5 years of research under her belt. But the confirmation of this theory may just possibly tell us exactly who and if this Big Foot actually does exist, or existed.

Big Foot made his first theoretical splash on the myth community in 1811-spotted by a man named David Thompson. While it may seem that Big Foot is an exclusive  monster to the USA, his/her sightings have actually been a part of North American lore as a whole. He was first rumored in Canada, and here have been quite a few sightings that draw a trail clean down from the Alaska territory into the northern borders of America since then-more than you would expect for a mammal that should be, with all intents and purposes, just a story.

But the art of storytelling and good ol’ American rumor spreading have kept the legend alive. Why has it become a legend? I have no idea. Perhaps its the fact that even to the most abrupt opposition to the theory, there lies a bit of truth and belief in its context. That and the fact that humanity makes  really good believers virtually out of anything as long as it has the promise of a beneficial future and happy discovery upon realization.

Do you know how many hopeful MAC users are that Apple will one day optimize Mac Pros with enough hardware and reasonable price cuts that they’ll FINALLY be able to utilize Crysis 2 to its maximum potential?

As long as the promise of advancement is in the works, we will latch on to whatever or where ever that keeps our imagination going. But just how big is Big Foot?

According to most nature enthusiasts and faithfuls the giant would stand almost 8′ tall, weigh in easily between 600 and 900 pounds-he’d be hairy, heavy(Obviously) and probably carry about as big a little man complex as the red bottomed Baboon. Its highly unlikely that he would be friendly-at least by my standards. If I had been a part of a super ape series of beings constantly shedding fur and roaming the countryside, any idea of peace with Homo Sapients would be the last thing I worry about.

On the figurative side, Big Foot has spawned international fame-even without the actual proof of his metaphysical body! The idea of such a gargantuan living in the forests of New England or the mountains of Wyoming and Alaska startle us! But I have to admit I’d love to see an actual myth be put to rest the way that it should-with a comfortable proof of its existence and/or non existence so that we can all go home and watch reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

To each his own.

Image Credit: Photos.com

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