June 27, 2013
Breast Milk Flavored Lollipops Make Babies Stop Crying
If breast milk is powerful enough to turn a screaming, thrashing, crying baby into a happy, quiet, sleeping one, why not capitalize on that sedative? Breast milk flavored lollipops, vile or inventive?
Maybe you’re weird like me, and you’ve always wondered what breast milk tastes like and why it’s such a powerful tool in the parenting arsenal. Maybe you’re gross enough to try it for yourself.
But, for anyone who’s not, there’s breast milk flavored candy.
The candy comes in lollipop form from Austin Texas’ own Lollyphile, but it doesn’t actually contain any real mommy’s milk.
Apparently the company had no trouble getting volunteers to donate breast milk. After the breast milk arrived, Lollyphile’s own “flavor specialists” set out to make candy of the flavor.
I hope they’re well paid. Well, let’s be honest, who care’s what they’re getting paid. They get to taste and make candy all day long.
“I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older, but it seems like all of my friends are having babies these days,” Jason Darling, owner of Lollyphile, says in a press release.
“Sure, the kids are all crazy cute, but what slowly dawned on me was that my friends were actually producing milk so delicious it could turn a screaming, furious child into a docile, contented one. I knew I had to capture that flavor.”
The idea is to pacify babies with breast milk-flavored candy, but the truth of the matter is that plenty of weirdos like me will be the ones eating these because, let’s face it, we can’t just drink breast milk. That’s not normal.
Darling continues about his crazy candy, “It’s sad that so few people are able to remember this inherently wonderful flavor. It’s a real shame that babies are so selfish, but you’ll understand their unwillingness to share once you try one of these.”
Lollyphile is a San Francisco-born and Austin-raised candy company that claims to have a sweet tooth and a short attention span. According to their site, they started out making their crazy flavored candy on a stick in October of 2007 when Halloween festivities left them with too much absinthe and not enough candy.
Their flavors are all over the map. With things like habanero tequila, horchata, maple bacon, lavender, wasabi-ginger, bourbon, irish cream, and white Russian, they’ve got something to soothe the strangest of sweet-tooths. Or sweet-teeth? That doesn’t sound right, does it? Stupid spell check has me second-guessing myself, but I digress. They’ve got a ton of flavors, and many of them are inspired by alcoholic drinks, so something tells me this isn’t the candy shop from days of old; their flavors are a little more advanced and probably aren’t aimed at children despite what they’d have you believe.
If you’ve never been to Texas or the Austin area, their slogan is “Keep Austin Weird.” The folks over at Lollyphile seem to be taking that as less of a slogan and more of a challenge.
Image Credit: Thinkstock.com