February 10, 2013

Calling All Professional Potheads: Your Dream Job Awaits

With the recent passing of legislation for legalization of marijuana in Washington, the state is seeking expert weed smokers/cultivators and is willing to pay them up to $100,000 (USD) annually for up to two years. Raise your hand if you’re thinking about applying.

When the news broke in early December, all I heard about on campus was how Washington and Colorado legalized marijuana for recreational users on the state level. Pothead students were stoked, conservative ones were disgusted, and everyone had an opinion.

Whether you like it or not, it’s the truth (at least for now). Marijuana is legal on the state level in Washington, and with that in mind, Washington’s Liquor Control Board is seeking marijuana experts to help make the business a successful one.

The 17-page proposal is complete with a table of contents, contracts, and standards.

This is as legitimate as any other job posting you’d find online.

According to the background section of the proposal, “Initiative 502 requires that Marijuana be a tightly regulated, state-licensed system similar to that for controlling spirits. This new Washington State system for growing, processing, retailing, and producing Marijuana is unprecedented and must be built from the ground up.”

Having said that, Consulting Services requirements have been divided into the following four categories, Product and Industry Knowledge, Product Quality Standards and Testing, Product Usage and Consumption Validation, and Product Regulation.

Each of these four categories are divided into subsections of expertise.

Product and Industry Knowledge, for example, includes, but is not limited to: How Marijuana and/or Agricultural products are grown, cultivated, harvested, cured, and processed, How Marijuana is infused into food and beverages, How Marijuana should be packaged, labeled, transported, and sold at retail level, How wholesale and retail product should be recalled and accounted for, and How Marijuana should be destroyed if over produced, contaminated, or recalled.

It’s a hell of a list, but at least they’re doing it the right way. I’ll spare you the boring details, but if you’re interested, check the proposal link above.

According to CNN Money, “Ideally, we would like one person who has all those characteristics,” said board spokesman Mikhail Carpenter.

He went on to say, a criminal record won’t be “an immediate disqualifier.”

The contract consulting work pays up to $100,000 (USD) annually, “but candidates can compete by offering to do it for less. The gig starts in March, and state officials need the rules created by June. Plus, they’ll need advice for another year or two.”

Since the nature of the job offer is considered contract work, a modest job application simply won’t cut it. “Proposals must include several two-page essays proving proficiency in all the skills listed above.”

These guys are not screwing around; they want a real pro. Some pimple faced high school burnout isn’t gonna cut it.

I’m surprised that they’re opening it up to the public though. You’d think they want someone credible, but I suppose that’s the reason for the 17-page outlined proposal.

For some reason, my mind screams Willy Nelson or Tommy Chong! Maybe a less known, but more credible, Rick Steves. I suppose these guys are too busy to fool with something like being a pro pothead though.

Only time will tell.

Image Credit: Peter Kim / Shutterstock

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