August 11, 2012
Dead Rising 2 (Day 2)
Complaining about Dead Rising 2’s plot is like fussing over a dog that drools on your furniture. It’s not very surprising, and there isn’t much you can do about it other than raise your blood pressure to levels it shouldn’t be at. It is a hack’n’slash zombie game. Unique plot twists and time paradoxes aren’t the norm when it comes to such things. Despite what it is however, Dead Rising 2 does its best to try and complicate the story by throwing in a bit of conspiracy and controversial political standings. This confuses me a little because every single situation with zombies in history usually ends up with severed limbs and chewed up brains, not moral rights activists. Indeed, Dead Rising 2 tries to add some meaningful depth to its shallow pool of a plot and throws two conflicting sides into the bloody zombie infested midst. There is C.U.R.E. (Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality), the zombie moral rights activists who believe that zombies should not be used for entertainment and experimentation. I’m not even sure what to say about that. I guess if you treat a zombie like an equal long enough, it could regain some human consciousness after having eaten half your face.
On the other side of the spectrum of idiocy, you have the people who kill zombies for reality TV shows and other sorts of entertainment. Honestly, why is everyone in this game completely retarded and off their rockers? I understand that zombie invasions may cause some people to loose their grip on reality, but they can’t all have electrocuted themselves until their brains resembled burnt slivers of bacon. What happened to all the scientists that were supposed to be working on eradicating the plague? What happened to quarantines? Where on Earth is the military in all of this? I’m almost rooting for the zombies on this one because some people really just shouldn’t exist. One would think that in a time of peril and flesh eating monsters, people would strive to rid such abominations from existence and prevent events like that from happening again. But apparently, I’m not thinking on the same frequency as some people. I suppose that I am stupid to value life over reality TV. Now that I think about it, I guess that’s not too far fetched from modern day existence.
To add to the political parties and constant slaughtering, you are given a bit of a conspiracy to deal with. After some slaughter, you find out that someone has framed you for the recent population growth of zombies in Fortune City, Nevada. Wrongly accused and now suspected, you must uncover the sinister plot and clear your name before the military arrives and brands you as a terrorist. You must also save scattered survivors, supply your daughter with medication so she doesn’t zombify, and of course eradicate some flesh eating corpses. You find out that the whole zombie outbreak is actually a distraction to cover up a greater “mastermind” plan. But I believe that any “mastermind” who creates a zombie apocalypse in order to rob a bank deserves quotes around their name because there is no existing word for the level of stupidity one must inhabit to think of such an idiotic plan.
But I must always remind myself that I don’t care about Dead Rising 2’s plot. I must resist its maddening idiocy and focus on making sure my chainsaws have enough fuel to chop up the next horde of monsters. I haven’t gotten the combo that allows me to destroy zombies with two chainsaws strapped to the ends of a paddle, but there are other combos that still keep the game interesting. Today I discovered a few stores at the mall and wasted no time outfitting myself with a toddler jumpsuit, bunny slippers, and a flower head piece. Zombies don’t care what they look like so why should I? I also ended up eliminating most of my opponents by wielding boxing gloves with various sharp objects protruding from its once harmless surface. Whoever came up with these weapon combos deserves a medal. It’s difficult to get bored of a game where you can punch a zombie head and watch it explode gloriously in high definition. I’m still waiting for the legendary chainsaw paddle, but charging through a crowd with hacksaw blades glued to my head is doing quite well satisfying my lust for blood. Forget the accusations that people constantly bombard me with. I’m playing this game to kill zombies in a tuxedo, not deal with the justice system.
Image Credit: Capcom