May 30, 2013
Did It Again
I finally got my laptop back, so I can get back to blogging for my readers. It has been a crazy few weeks and I am sorry for not writing to anyone who actually reads these blogs of mine.
I have been babysitting these two boys, sometimes three boys at a time, three and four years old, and they drive me crazy (parents need to teach their children respect and other lessons). Just because I am your babysitter does not mean you can treat me like trash or like your servant. I am about ready to quite but I cannot yet, since I am still applying for jobs and doing some online surveys for money. I miss the days of not having to pay bills.
I got so stressed out that I self-harmed with burning, but I have stopped that for now. Got to go back to what I know about my coping skills and use them.
Lately, I have been doing better. I went to counseling and was put down as stable for that session. Woot! I have not exactly had a stable session ever in all my counseling. So, maybe if you are doing counseling I hope it is going well and hope you have your stable session. But remember, just because that happens does not mean you should stop going.
So, I accidentally got cut shaving my legs (using an old disposable razor because someone threw away my good razor). I told my mom about it so she would not think I self-harmed. Well, my step-dad saw the band aid, and I am pretty sure he thought I had self-harmed. But, if he saw it he would know that I didn’t self-harm. If I am going to cut, it would actually look like cuts not spots from an old razor.
People will never forget the things you have done and they never stop worrying. I wish they would forget about it, because I am not going to talk about it to them. I hate being judged and regret everything I have done. I am just glad to have some real friends who stick by me no matter what, because I know some people are not as lucky. If you need somebody, even a friend, I can be that person. It is always good to have somebody to talk to and be there for you.
Hopefully you all out there are doing well. You can always email me or leave a comment if you want to talk, need advice or some support. Either way, I am there for everyone out there who struggles with anything. Please do not hesitate.
My heart and prayers go out to the Oklahoma tornado victims and the other states who have had tornados, but not big enough to be put on the news. I cannot imagine losing my home, loved ones, and friends from such a disaster. I hope people come out to help, I know when Joplin got hit our church came out to help them.
Stay Strong <3
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