April 20, 2013

Digital Life After Death With Google Afterlife

It’s a tough fact, but it’s the truth; one day we are all going to kick the bucket.

No one knows when it is going to happen, but hopefully you’ll have a legal will in place because you want to at least rest with the comfort of knowing your oldest son has possession of your middle school baseball trophies.

But when you pass on to greener pastures, what happens to your internet footprint? Well, if you have good friends then you won’t have an internet footprint to speak of.

Come on my good friend, it’s time to cover all of those bases when you ride shotgun with the Grim Reaper.

IGN and redOrbit reported that Google has released a new feature called “Inactive account manager” which is connected to all features and services connected to Google (which means all of the things that matter like YouTube). The way this works is the user can set an inactive time period and if the inactive period is met then out goes an alert.

So, for instance, if a person sets an inactive time period for seven days and they don’t gain access to Google or within the reach of the internet powerhouse then alerts will been given to up to ten “trusted” people, who will then be in charge of your account.

Google makes it simple to do the obvious. The feature is equipped with a “burn” command that will delete all of the search history, public YouTube videos and all things related. This service should come in handy since if you are in the box everyone wants to think positive and highly of you (at least through the course of your funeral). You don’t want your reputation tarnished with in event that your nephew, second cousin and the rest of your loved ones found out about all of those times you’ve viewed the Gangam Style video, or the fact that you made a failed Harlem shake video or even worse, all of those adorable cat videos you just couldn’t stop watching (and all of those videos that you couldn’t stop watching with those other kinds of adorable pussy cats).

Finally, you can have the last laugh and leave your legacy intact. Fathers, you guys can depart with your sons comparing you to Sylvester Stallone, King Leonidas or The Rock and not finding out that your last Google search was for a pair of Spongebob Squarepants flip-flops. Mothers, you can depart with your daughters comparing you to goddesses and elegance without them knowing that your last Google search was “Do I have a mom butt?”

Go ahead, live life to the fullest because no matter what race, gender or religion, you only get to have one crack at this little thing called life. One day it’s going to end and you should at least have the ability to enjoy a smooth departure with memories only your close friends will remember (besides, they have more dirt on you than some silly search history anyway).

Think about it, the funeral would be a whole lot different if everyone saw that Harlem shake video.

Image Credit: Bruce Rolff / Shutterstock

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