Dog Called as Witness in Court Case, Writes Report
February 24, 2013

Dog Called As Witness In Court Case, Writes Report

In bizarre news, a canine was called to witness in a Crown Prosecution Service in the UK. “I chase him. I bite him. Bad man. He tasty. Good boy.”

This is not a joke. Well, it kind of is, but the fact that the dog was called as a witness is not.

In a strange court case fit for an episode of Law & Order or a Saturday Night Live skit, a canine was mistakenly called as a witness in a court case.

Officers took the mistake and ran with it. They proceeded to fill out an actual police report in the character of the canine in question, Peach.

According to Daily Mail UK, The dog’s witness statement read: ‘I chase him. I bite him. Bad man. He tasty. Good boy. Good boy Peach.’ And was aptly signed with a bold black paw print.

The officer who wrote the statement was pretty clever. In an effort to not reveal whom he actually was, or make it look like a dog actually wrote it, he wrote the report with his left hand. (I’m assuming he’s a righty.)

Of course, the prosecution saw it was a joke, and they didn’t think it was very funny, but the officers sure did. They photographed the report and posted it to various social networks yielding hundreds of likes, shares, etc., as well as posting the photo in their office.

“The form was pinned up at a West Midlands Police station last week for the amusement of colleagues, who are often at odds with the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) over the handling of cases.”

The photos have since been removed, and “the officer who shared the picture, PC Mark Tissington, referred himself to the internal discipline unit. Sources say he is unlikely to be reprimanded.”

While I can completely understand the joke, and I’d probably do the exact same thing if given the opportunity. My bigger concern is, how did the CPS let a mistake like this slip?

I mean, let’s be honest. These are the people in charge of prosecuting criminals and fighting for justice? I can understand mistakes here and there, but calling a canine witness takes the cake.

“Officials are believed to have complained to police that their mistake has been turned into a very public joke.” Yep. It sure has.

I’m reminded of teachers saying, “I don’t give grades; you earn them.” The CPS definitely earned every last joke made at their expense. They left themselves wide open for this one.

My final concern is this: if the officers responsible for posting the picture have stepped forward, then surely the officer who wrote the report has too. (Assuming he’s got an ounce of character)

What more is there to investigate? The CPS obviously should spend more time investigating the case at hand and the witnesses they call to question instead of wasting time and taxpayer’s money investigating the culprits that fashioned a good ol’ fashioned joke.

Leave the officers alone already; throw ‘em a bone, would ya?

Image Credit: Mark Hayes / Shutterstock

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