Don’t Give Me No Lines And Keep Your Sexts To Yourself
February 13, 2014

Don’t Give Me No Lines And Keep Your Sexts To Yourself

Texting is becoming more and more popular. I remember the first time I texted someone way back in the early 2000s. It was so weird to send a little message from my phone instead of just calling. Sure, instant messaging was uber popular, but instant messages from one phone to another just seemed so unnecessary. Fast forward to 2014, and many people almost solely communicate via texts. This includes flirting, and flirting often leads to sexting. Sexting is a way that many couples communicate, but it turns out that men and women view sexting differently as reported by the Daily Mail.

Like most things in communication, men and women view receiving sexts differently. The Daily Mail wrote, “According to’s annual Singles in America survey, 75per cent of women say they don’t enjoy getting sexy photos from men, and 61per cent say even clothed selfies are bad, too.” However, the article goes on to say that nearly a third of women, about 36 percent, liked sending sexy photos of themselves to their man, which is good because even though women do not appreciate sexted selfies, about three-quarters of the men who participated happily receive sexts.

It really is no surprise that men enjoy receiving sexts more than women. Study after study, personal experience after personal experience, shows that men are often more visually oriented than women. Sure, this is not always the case, but often on love or dating surveys, men focus more on the visual characteristics than the mental or emotional ones. That is not to say that men do not desire intelligent and emotionally deep women; rather, it simply connects why more men might find sexts more appealing than most women.

Although the vast majority of women who participated in the study did not like selfie sexts (be they clothed or not), 79 percent admitted to really enjoying non-sexual photos, while 76 percent liked emoticons. Men just preferred sexts.

The article further expounds upon the texting difference between men and women. Turns out, men do not like receiving texts while they are at work while women do. Part of the theory here is that women cope better with distractions while men have the ability to focus deeply but narrowly, so a text at work distracts many men too much. Men also do not like abbreviated text speak. According to the article, they would prefer women spell out ‘y-o-u’ than just use ‘u’ in texts.

Have no fear, though; the news is not all about the differences in texting between men and women. Turns out that 59 percent of men and 59 percent of women (equal amounts in both genders) do not like receiving more than one text before getting or sending a reply. In other words, one text at a time, please.

Many scientists, doctors, researchers, and just generally interested people have studied the communication differences between men and women. Over the decades many claims have been made about the different ways the genders communicate. This article from the Daily Mail gives a little more food for thought on how to better communicate with our male and female loved ones. The simple of it is do not send selfie sexts to women (unless of course they solicit such a photo). Do send sexts to males (unless he asks otherwise). Do text women at work, but not men (again, unless notified otherwise). Only send one text at a time to both, use emoticons with women, and spell out words with men. Yeah, I think that about covers it. Easy peasy, right?

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Rayshell E. Clapper is an Associate Professor of English at a rural college in Oklahoma where she teaches Creative Writing, Literature, and Composition classes. She has presented her original fiction and non-fiction at several conferences and events including: Scissortail Creative Writing Festival, Howlers and Yawpers Creativity Symposium, Southwest/Texas Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association Regional Conference, and Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association National Conference. Her publications include Cybersoleil Journal, Sugar Mule Literary Magazine, Red Dirt Anthology, Originals, and Oklahoma English Journal. Beyond her written works, she successfully created a writer's group in rural Oklahoma to support burgeoning writers. The written word is her passion, and all she experiences inspires that passion. She hopes to help inspire others through her words.

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