April 21, 2014
Easter Comes And Goes With A Sting
As I write, the Easter holiday is almost over. This year, one well-known family’s rather painful Easter holiday got a lot of people talking, and brought out the caring side of our good British folk – ever ready to lend a hand, or in this case a bit of donated urine, to someone in need. That someone was none other than Prime Minister David Cameron, who was grabbing the headlines for all the wrong reasons.
Mr. Cameron made a big splash, literally and metaphorically, when he got into deep water while on holiday. Don’t people love it when politicians of any persuasion, or even the ever increasing pantheon of celebrities, fall from their pedestals and get to look daft? If that’s the case, then the UK’s beloved leader made a lot of people’s Easter when he went for a swim. He had taken his family to the island of Lanzarote in the Canaries to get some rays and a bit of what he calls “chillaxing” (ugh), which when he’s at home apparently means claret and DVDs. While staying at a luxury 18th century converted farmhouse, complete with four poster beds and its very own Yoga hall, near the island’s Arrieta beach, Cameron marched the whole family into the water. Nothing wrong with that you, might think – hot sun, cool water, chillaxing heaven. The trouble was that the water was full of jellyfish, lots of them, floating around waiting to grab a headline or two.
According to reports from Lanzarote, locals who know the beach and the waters well had warned the family that the jellyfish can give a nasty sting and that the best advice was to stay out of the water. Politicians are great at taking advice, are they not? Perhaps they are better at giving it than taking it. Ignoring the warnings, clan Cameron went in the sea to swim with the legions of Scyphozoa. After another local shouted a further warning, Cameron finally took his kids out of the water. But then, for some unknown reason, he decided to go back in himself. Those blobs of jelly sure know how to pick a good lunch. It wasn’t long before one of them homed in on the PM and gave him a sting to remember. Losing his usual eloquence and elaborate syntax, he shouted “Ouch, ouch” and then again “Ouch.” No speechwriter had been available at the time.
When the news reached our shores, waves of sympathy swept over the nation, most of it reserved for the jellyfish. But with true Dunkirk spirit, lots of people claimed that they would have willingly sprung to the PM’s help, had they been there on the beach. What a caring people we really are – it seems everyone wanted to be the one to apply the traditional cure for a jellyfish sting, which is to urinate on the affected area. Wave after wave of selfless volunteers lined up on social media sites to offer their services. Mr. Cameron has a whole new army of potential helpers on hand, but perhaps he hopes he will never need them. Still, you have to feel sorry for people in the limelight. It could happen to anyone, of course. The rest of us, though, really would get sympathy in such a situation, even if there were some genuine urine-ready first-aiders at hand. You are unlikely to see the funny side, if there is one, until long after the event, when the pain has faded into distant memory. If there’s a lesson from all this, it might just be that the waters of life are full of jellyfish, and if we rely on our leaders to guide us through them, we might just be in trouble.
Here endeth the Easter sermon.
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