Finding Affairs of the Heart in the Top Ten Least Faithful Cities
February 17, 2013

Finding Affairs Of The Heart In The Top Ten Least Faithful Cities

Right, so the topic of this blog actually surprised me quite a bit; however, in lieu of Valentine’s Day, it might interest some readers on several levels. This blog is about the least faithful cities in America.

Did you know that there is a website for cheating? Heck, maybe several websites exist for this. is a dating site for married people who want to cheat for whatever reason. Apparently, it receives quite the traffic from several cities especially on February 15, and it is married women who spike the numbers on the day after Valentine’s Day.  The Huffington Post reported this week a list of the least faithful cities from the website.

And what city topped the list? Why, Washington, D.C. Oh, and this is the second year in a row that D.C. has held the infamous title. The founder and CEO of Ashley Madison, Noel Biderman, said of this revelation, “With enormous public attention paid to political cheating scandals this year, including the Gen. Petraeus affair, there was no doubt that Washington residents would be influenced…Living in D.C., it’s crucial to keep up appearances and therefore adultery has become a way of life for many of the city’s most powerful residents.”

Okay, but what were some of the other cities? Well, here’s the list of the top ten:

10. Phoenix, Arizona

9. Lincoln, Nebraska

8. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

7. Boston, Massachusetts

6. Richmond, Virginia

5. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

4. Miami, Florida

3. Houston, Texas

2. Austin, Texas

1. Washington, D.C.

Oklahoma City, WTF? I was actually shocked to see that Oklahoma City made it on this list. I live near the capital city of Oklahoma and had to do a double take when I saw its name on the list. Oklahoma is a highly conservative state (for the past two elections, every single county has voted red), so to see that it was listed as the #5 top city for infidelity greatly impacted me.

In fact, the entire notion of a website that connects married people to other married people—where both want to have an affair—seems so, well, bizzaro to me. In this day and age where people argue about the “sanctity” of marriage regularly, I can’t help but wonder at the notion of a dating site for married people seeking an affair.

Now, do not get me wrong; I am not taking a political stance on marriage here. This has little to do with that other than the fact that this website named the top cities to have an affair in. I am just honestly blown away that exists and has regular clientele. This is not a knock at them either. I mean, I am a live and let live kinda girl. I just had no idea that this dating site existed.

Huffington Post noted that the shock I am feeling right now should be tempered by the fact that cheating is not widespread within the United States. In fact, a 2010 General Social Survey sponsored by the National Science Foundation found that 19 percent of men admitted to infidelity, which was down from 21 percent in 1991. On the other hand, women who had affairs increased from 11 percent in 1991 to 14 percent. Regardless, on both sides, these are pretty low percentages. Naturally, zero percent would be ideal, but at least it is not super, crazy high.

The Huffington Post article surprised me on two levels: learning about dating sites for married folks who want to cheat and learning that Oklahoma City was in the top ten list of least faithful cities. I have much to ponder about both of these.

However, I just want to end with this: love finds us in weird ways, and if can help someone who needs love and needs a way out find those, then who am I to judge?

Image Credit: altafulla / Shutterstock

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Rayshell E. Clapper is an Associate Professor of English at a rural college in Oklahoma where she teaches Creative Writing, Literature, and Composition classes. She has presented her original fiction and non-fiction at several conferences and events including: Scissortail Creative Writing Festival, Howlers and Yawpers Creativity Symposium, Southwest/Texas Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association Regional Conference, and Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association National Conference. Her publications include Cybersoleil Journal, Sugar Mule Literary Magazine, Red Dirt Anthology, Originals, and Oklahoma English Journal. Beyond her written works, she successfully created a writer's group in rural Oklahoma to support burgeoning writers. The written word is her passion, and all she experiences inspires that passion. She hopes to help inspire others through her words.

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