Grill Like A G5
May 23, 2013

Grill Like A G5

I have a problem.

Actually I have two problems.

Actually, I have only two problems that I want to discuss today.

My loving wife and I are moving apartments this weekend. We’ve taken the opportunity to take some stock in our worldly possessions and get rid of the crud, the things that we haven’t touched in two years time or completely forgot was tucked away in that cupboard we never used.

We never used that cupboard because more stuff we never use was stacked in front of it.

Ok, so maybe I have three problems.

I convinced my wife to let me keep my small family of iPods and iPhones, but she drew the line when it came to my two nearly functional G4 Power Macs that have been sleeping under our bed for over two years. Between them there’s a perfectly good and working retro computer, (running Leopard, if memory serves) but I never got them to that point and left them to collect dust. I’ve seen things other people have done with their old and out of commission Macs — build clocks, make fishtanks, run media servers — but I’m a slothful man. I never get around to those kinds of things.

Then I saw what Imgur user Jc8lc did with his old Power Mac G5. I knew immediately what I wanted to do with my old pieces of beautiful, Ive created junk.

Unfortunately, the G4s were made of plastic or something that I’m sure would melt with relative ease.

Imgur user Jc8lc, a brilliant young man, noticed his G5 and saw an opportunity for some backyard grilling.

And it makes complete sense, when you think of it.

The front grill of these beasts (they’re called Mac Pros now) has often been compared to a cheese grater. There are only a few logical steps which need to be taken from there to arrive at grill land. Like many other Apple products, the G5 was also made of aluminum, so they could totally stand up to the heat, right?

This clever Mac user posted the journey from computing machine to grilling machine on his Imgur page, but the obvious first step is to remove all those innards; power source, RAM, hard drive, motherboard, all the stuff that wouldn’t lend a pleasing smokey flavor to the soy burgers and grilled veggies. (I’m a vegetarian, after all.)

Next, he replaced one of the Mac’s aluminum sides with an aluminum grille he had laying around. He placed this grille on a hinge and then focused his attention to the other side.

Here, he placed a bit of a wooden stand to keep the grill off the table. It’s going to get awful hot down there beneath the coals, after all.

From there he simply added coals and fire to the cavity and threw on some beef, chicken, corn and other veggies. Extra bonus points, by the way, for casually including a pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon in one of the photographs.

Judging from the pictures posted online, his BBQ seemed to go swimingly, minus some “major warping” of the aluminum grille after a few hours of high heat cooking. This piece could be easily replaced, though it might not make sense to have to buy new aluminum every time you want to cook something.

So, hats off to you, Imgur user Jc8Ic! (And hats off to Macworld for the story.)

I’ve never missed my old G5 and loathed my plastic G4s as much as I do in this moment.

And, damn, am I hungry.

Does anyone want to trade a pair of G4s for a soysage and a PBR?

Image Credit: Jc8Ic / Imgur

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