November 27, 2012

Mayan Safe Zone Has Been Closed

I’ve been laughing at doomsday believers for nine months. Now I feel horrible.

Humans have spent the worse part of the last thirty thousand years charting and plotting end-of-the-year disasters. Global warming, Tsunami Floods-and who can forget the 2012 theory? For those of you who haven’t been keeping up with popular news or just don’t have a life, scientists made a startling statement for the world a few years back on a possible discovery that they made.

This discovery, which really was never a discovery at all, turned out to be one of the greatest practical jokes that an ancient civilization could have hoped to achieve. Too bad no one actually knows what happened to the Mayans. Apart from the obvious predicament of anarchists and doomsday enthusiasts, over a majority of the populace of Earth has abandoned this theory due to the infinite amounts of 2012 refutations!

However a tragedy has struck the cozy apocalypse faithfuls near the mountain of Pic de Bugarach. Bugarach, rumored to be the only one of just a few mountain peaks in the world safe from the end of the world, has been issued a nationwide shutdown. How can authorities be so cruel to individuals simply trying to take refuge against natural disaster?

The answer is not so simple, I’m afraid.

In an article that you can read here, we find that, as stated before, Pic de Bugarach is one of only a few safe spots on the planet when the volcanoes start erupting. There’s over 7 billion human harboring life forms on this planet. Unless we’re redefining The Holiday Inn, there’s no mathematical, architectural or geological way that any of us could all fit on the safe spots.

Authorities understood this issue when they made the plan of appointing over 100 police officers and firefighters to guard the entrance to the mountain on December 21st. If you ask me its a bit depressing to shut off someone’s only method of emotional consoling, regardless of the logical factors and over crowding theories¬† behind the flood of December 21st. If they wanna take turns playing chicken, to shove each other off cliffs for safety then who are we to stop it?

Umm…the guys holding the keys, I believe.

Humans will never stop being afraid of end of the world theories/global warming disasters/running out of fresh milk for cereal scenarios. Sometimes that fear flies far past our definition of psychotic and on into plain weird and unreasonable.

Some 2012 faithfuls in fact believe that on the 21st of December the mountain Pic de Bugarach will open its mouth to the sky and reveal a massive space ship that will carry all who believed on it to a safe far away planet.

Forgive me for not jumping on the hitchhiking space mountain-taxi but this story sounds an awful lot like the plot to Crysis. And in any case I suppose what our biggest worry should pertain to is whether or not this theory does in fact hold some weight of truth in the near future.

I first heard of this prediction when I was only sixteen years old-by this age I had enough exposure to Star Wars and imagination-shattering science fiction films that I could tell the difference between fact and fiction.

If there are any words of wisdom that I could instill in you, it would be that it all makes too much logical sense to happen exactly as I’ve heard it predicted. Remember that the end of the world has been plotted thousands of times in our history-and while I do think that there have been major hiccups in prediction here and there I believe wholeheartedly that we’re all safe.

We’ll let the arrival of Christmas give a you a perspective.

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