November 28, 2012

Oral Sex And Happy Women: Swallowing The Facts

Not just oral sex either. Semen’s full of physical and mental benefits for women, and I suppose there are some perks for the men too. So semen makes everyone happy, in a nutshell.

How can I word this without sounding brazen?

Scientific research shows that semen provides a host of health benefits for women who ingest it orally or have unprotected sex where the man achieves climax. In other words, semen makes women happy.


On August 10, 2012 Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at SUNY-Albany, said the best way to cure morning sickness during pregnancy is sperm.

There has been similar research previously published by SUNY touting the health benefits of semen.

On June 28, 2002, The State University of New York at Albany, or SUNY as it’s affectionately known, published research that said, “Women who are directly exposed to semen are less depressed than those who are not.”

Those scientists over at SUNY sure do love them some semen research, but I digress.

Semen causes women to be happier and sleep better, while preventing depression and preeclampsia in those who are pregnant.

What’s next, it cures cancer?

This follows research which shows that seminal fluid contains chemicals that elevate mood, increase affection, induce sleep and also contain at least three anti-depressants.

The researchers also claim that women who have regular unprotected sex are less depressed and perform better on cognitive tests.

Semen contains another of chemicals along with spermatozoa, including cortisol, which is known to increase affection, estrone, which elevates mood and oxytocin, which also elevates mood.

It also contains thyrotropin-releasing hormone (another antidepressant), melatonin (a sleep-inducing agent), and even serotonin (perhaps the best-known antidepressant neurotransmitter).”

This is awesome news for women, and it’s not too bad for men either, but there’s an obvious disclaimer: this applies to those who are in monogamous relationships. The flaw in that disclaimer is that monogamy refers to marriage, not sexual partners, but let’s be naïve and assume that everyone adheres to the commitments they’ve made before God.

293 women were surveyed to reach this conclusion, and it was not conducted with same sex partners.

I’m willing to bet my last dollar that there were probably only 293 participants because they couldn’t find that many willing participants to carry out the study practically, but I’m sure there’s someone somewhere that is.

Cue the personals on CraigsList.

Seriously though, this has to be the best scientific research I’ve come across online to date. I was actually looking for research that linked tattoos and happiness, or something along those lines (expect a blog about that when I can find the research). Ahh, good ole Google, how you make my day every time.

I’m in no way advocating anyone to have unprotected sex or more frequent sex for the sake of a better mood. Please contact your physician before jumping to any conclusions; I just wanted to give you something interesting to talk about at the table for Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Sally’s. Better yet, don’t share this at the dinner table. Just wait ‘til the night winds down and all the stuffy relatives have left.

I failed to mention, there is an obvious loophole in the research. What about pregnancy and the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases?

Well ladies, you’ve got a choice to make.

Image Credit: Robert Adrian Hillman / Shutterstock

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