Penis Insurance Plan Flops
March 22, 2014

Penis Insurance Plan Flops

So, you wake up one morning and find your penis is no longer attached to your body. As long as you have penis insurance or protection, there are no worries, right? Well, not so fast. The Huffington Post explained that recently Lloyd’s of London and a men’s underwear company called UNDZ talked about a deal where if one purchased three or more pairs of UNDZ underwear, they could get a Lloyd’s of London insurance policy worth $50,000 if the penis became detached from the man’s body.

However, as the Huff Post article explains, the plan went limp (pun intended) as a deal was never reached between the two companies. Founder of UNDZ, Bertrand Dore, said in a press release, “’It’s unfortunate that Lloyd’s is no longer interested in partnering with UNDZ…I suspect they did not like our provocative marketing. We are pleased to say we will continue to provide penis protection to our customers.’”

The company reports that about 2,000 people have the policy thus far. The policy’s terms will not change; however, it will be called penis protection instead of penis insurance since the company is not a licensed insurer.

The policy does have some strict requirements. For instance, anyone who willingly undergoes a sex change operation cannot cash in the protection policy. Similarly, any surgery that otherwise removes the penis will exempt the protection plan. And in the case of the desperate human who has a penis protection plan, policyholders cannot receive their $50,000 if a friend or lover does the slicing and dicing.

When first I saw this article, I thought it must be a joke. I mean, a penis insurance plan? Then upon reading it and doing further research, I found that several have had a penis insurance plan, such as David Lee Roth. So, apparently, it is not that out of the ordinary. However, to buy three or more pairs of undies and get a penis insurance policy still seems pretty bizarre. I mean, I know things happen, but enough to warrant needing penis insurance or even just penis protection?

Then I started thinking, is there vagina insurance or boob insurance? What about anus insurance? Why does any body part need insurance specifically? This is by far one of the weirder stories I have seen lately on the World Wide Web.

But I guess people, namely men, are pretty attached to the penis. I mean, not only is it the means of urinating, but for many it is a means of manhood, of love, of life. I think we all understand why people are so protective of the penis. I do not know that it deserves its own special insurance, but heck, why not? If someone is willing to invest in penis insurance, or in the case of UNDZ penis protection, then why not?

People engage in weird activities and purchase weird insurances all the time. Why not have insurance for the penis, vagina, or boobs? If someone out there will willingly purchase it, who is to say that it should not be offered just because it seems weird? Weird by one standard is normal by another, right? So, more power to the penis protection!

Image Credit: Thinkstock

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Rayshell E. Clapper is an Associate Professor of English at a rural college in Oklahoma where she teaches Creative Writing, Literature, and Composition classes. She has presented her original fiction and non-fiction at several conferences and events including: Scissortail Creative Writing Festival, Howlers and Yawpers Creativity Symposium, Southwest/Texas Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association Regional Conference, and Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association National Conference. Her publications include Cybersoleil Journal, Sugar Mule Literary Magazine, Red Dirt Anthology, Originals, and Oklahoma English Journal. Beyond her written works, she successfully created a writer's group in rural Oklahoma to support burgeoning writers. The written word is her passion, and all she experiences inspires that passion. She hopes to help inspire others through her words.

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