January 29, 2013

Pubic Lice: An Endangered Species Thanks To Good Grooming

Thank God for feminine hygiene. Waxing, shaving, or hair removal products, it doesn’t matter how they do it; it’s just better when it’s smooth. Here’s one more reason to trim the hedges.

Do the curtains match the carpet? Nope, we’ve got tile downstairs! Smooth, slick, and clean. No bugs either.

That’s what the recent findings from say!

“More than 80 percent of college students in the U.S. remove all or some of their pubic hair.” Some shave, some wax, some remove it all, and others may leave a little landing strip. Whatever. The results are the same.

Pubic lice are on the decline. Big time.

According to the US National Library of Medicine, “Pubic lice are small, six-legged creatures that infect the pubic hair area and lay eggs. These lice can also be found in armpit hair and eyebrows. Lice infestation is found mostly in teenagers and usually spreads during sexual activity. Sometimes, pubic lice can spread through contact with objects such as toilet seats, sheets, blankets, or bathing suits at a store. However, this type of spreading is rare.”

They’re usually removed with topical treatments, but as the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

As the pubic hair vanishes, so do the crab-shaped critters that have nestled into human groins since the dawn of time.

According to Dailymail, “’It used to be extremely common; it’s now rarely seen,’ said Basil Donovan, head of sexual health at the University of New South Wales’s Kirby Institute and a physician at the Sydney Sexual Health Centre. ‘Without doubt, it’s better grooming.’”

“In Australia, Sydney’s main sexual health clinic hasn’t treated a woman with pubic lice since 2008 while male cases have fallen 80 per cent from about 100 a decade ago.”

Scientists must be bored if they’re studying pubic lice, but hey, somebody has to do it.

With the ever growing popularity of bikini waxing, and more and more women becoming conscious of their bikini line, the crabs have lost their natural habitat, and they’re dying off.

Many men are even becoming more conscious of their bush as well as body hair everywhere. According to AskMen, “What once was the concern of bodybuilders, models and porn stars is now a question every man must consider. To shave or not to shave?” It’s referred to as manscaping, and it’s also helping curb the crabs.

As a disclaimer, pubic lice’s demise is no reason to be sexually frivolous. Packing the plastic may save you from ol’ Willie Lump-lump, but the crabs don’t care about condoms; they’re a beast in the bush and no form of protection leaves you safe from them, so use discretion. You could also do the morally proper thing, and get married first. If that’s the case, you shouldn’t have any concern.

The moral of the story is shave it, wax it, or Nair it; nobody cares how it goes away. The pubic hair just needs to go.

It’s better for our planet. It’s better for humanity.

I just feel bad for the ladies who participated in Decembeaver.

Image Credit: RazoomGame / Shutterstock

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