December 5, 2012

Science Wants Your Poop

Research scientists are still on the edge of their seats with different experiments diving into DNA examination. And now they want your crap as a specimen!

Blood cells, in my honest opinion, have been to humanity as much a mystery as our pondering of the true cause of our bilateral forms. Of course, traces of our DNA are present in nearly every part of our body-skin, tears, sweat and even our hair!!! The comfort level of patients and doctors alike are dwindling and maximizing-depending on whether or not your still getting a lollipop.

Jack Gilberts, and a quite a load of DNA specialists are advertising patients around the country to send in segments of their hair, skin and even their poop!

That’s right. Their poop.

Of course this advertisement makes quite a few people uncomfortable in that prospect-and to each his own level of advancement. I’ll keep my poop in my toilet, thank you very much!

You may not know it, but the contents of your body consist of quite a few entities that you’ll not find in your average seventh grade biology book. Humans share their digestive systems with a host selection of worms and parasitic organisms that live inside your intestines and even your brains!!!

These parasites, while usually thought of as evil angry little people slowly taking apart and scraping tiny particles of your excrement and waste from inside your body. Wouldn’t it be awesome if parasites lived inside of our bodies the way they existed inside the giant rift worm that we saw half way through Gears of War 2?

If you didn’t know, one of Gears of War 2’s plot twists involved a three hundred foot earth worm that rattled and vibrated its way across the fictional planet Sera-sinking entire cities and settlements within mere minute. At one point, upon discovering that it was a worm this entire time that had been sinking cities-as opposed to a mechanical death machine-Marcus Fenix and The Gears get trapped within the beasts stomach!

Upon realizing where they are, they make a journey out of sawing out the worms three hearts, and sprinting as fast as they can to an outlet so they wouldn’t drown the worm’s blood-but the things we saw in this worm astounded me. Parasitic organisms the size of car bumpers, acidic gas with the lethality of a tub of hydrogen peroxide-for god’s sake an entire obstacle course spanning dozens of miles through cavity gums and tooth formations!

Now obviously I don’t want a squad of overly buffed up meat heads carrying automatic weapons with chainsaws attached to their bayonets. I only have one heart, and I prefer it that whatever parasites that do live in my stomach not be provoked. But the sheer imagination of the contents of organisms inside of our(Or a rift worm’s) digestive track are quite creative and intuitive.

If you are interested in this endeavor, you need only a ninety nine dollar participant fee and a whole lot of therapy to get started.

Let me know what you think in the comments!

Image Credit: Photos.com

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