Stop Beating Yourself Up
March 16, 2014

Stop Beating Yourself Up

Everyone has those moments where they say or do something that later they stress over or regret. This is natural, and just about everyone does it. Sometimes, though, that momentary stress turns longer and suddenly we may beat ourselves up over something that really does not deserve that much attention. Oftentimes, we beat ourselves up unnecessarily. One Buzzfeed article reminds us all to take a moment and just stop beating ourselves up. The article lists 14 different things that we should stop beating ourselves up over. Let’s take a look at a few to remind ourselves that it is okay to just relax.

First of all, the article lists two related things: failed hobbies and failed plans. Sure, we may think that we can journal daily or learn to knit or go to that late night concert or even just have that lunch date. New hobbies and new plans start from a place of optimism. However, sometimes it takes us quite some time to really get into the new hobby, or sometimes we just do not want to go to that concert. It’s okay. Of course, no one enjoys someone who constantly cancels, and we should not get into the habit of not committing to new hobbies, but every once in awhile a cancelation or a delayed hobby is okay. Really.

Next, we should not feel bad for going out and acting like a 21-year-old again. Sometimes a night on the town with friends leads to one too many drinks, which leads to that icky hangover. We probably did not say or do anything outrageous, so we should not feel bad for one night’s indulgence. Of course, we should not make it a habit and go out boozing just because or on the regular. Excessive drinking is a bad idea. But the rare occasion of drinking does not mean that we are no longer mature or in control. It just means that gin and tonic tasted too good. Again, don’t make a habit of too much, but don’t feel bad for that one night.

Another really good bit of advice is not to feel bad about skipping one day of exercise to read, sleep in, hang out, or whatever. Sure, exercise is good for everybody, and we should all engage in exercise activity daily, but it is also important to take a day off for recovery or just to chill out. It’s okay. Just pick up the next day. We all need a break.

It is also okay to lose touch with someone whom we no longer want or need a relationship with. In fact, sometimes it is important to end toxic relationships. Nobody owes anyone else a relationship. And sometimes friendships just fizzle out. If it feels right, then go for it. There is no need to be a jerk about it or rub it in someone’s face, but there is also no need to be a part of a relationship that is no longer working or good or necessary.

Moving on, we need to stop beating ourselves up about needing an ice cream/coffee/whatever break. Sure, we should not indulge in sugar, fats, and the like all of the time, but a treat every once in a while is good. And really these things cost like $3, so they are also affordable. Again, excessive treats is not healthy, just like excessive drinking is not, but on the rare occasion, sometimes nothing brings happiness like that caramel sundae, and that is okay.

Lastly, Buzzfeed reminds us to not beat ourselves up about that dumb thing we said. We all say dumb things sometimes. We all have our moments. But the truth is, almost nobody else notices or cares. Only the individual who is beating herself up about what was said noticed.

The article listed several other things we need to stop beating ourselves up about, so check it out. And remember, it’s okay. Really. Give yourself a break.

Image Credit: Thinkstock

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Rayshell E. Clapper is an Associate Professor of English at a rural college in Oklahoma where she teaches Creative Writing, Literature, and Composition classes. She has presented her original fiction and non-fiction at several conferences and events including: Scissortail Creative Writing Festival, Howlers and Yawpers Creativity Symposium, Southwest/Texas Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association Regional Conference, and Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association National Conference. Her publications include Cybersoleil Journal, Sugar Mule Literary Magazine, Red Dirt Anthology, Originals, and Oklahoma English Journal. Beyond her written works, she successfully created a writer's group in rural Oklahoma to support burgeoning writers. The written word is her passion, and all she experiences inspires that passion. She hopes to help inspire others through her words.

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