Vagina’s Got A Gun
January 14, 2014

Vagina’s Got A Gun

Ever since I started writing about the oddities and weird news pieces, I find myself surprised every time I check out the different sources. I mean, from the middle-finger statue to the Jesus dog butt, I just never know what to expect. And then came this one about aliens, guns, abuse, and genitalia. I know, that sounds weird enough without the actual story, but hold on because the story is worth it.

First of all, it is important to note the characters. As the Huffington Post explains, first there is Jennifer McCarthy, ex-wife to famous writer and Pulitzer Prize winner Cormac McCarthy (of No Country for Old Men and The Road fame amongst a litany of other great books). So, the first main character is a quasi-famous one. Well, at least she was married to a famous writer at one point in her life.

The second main character is her current boyfriend, Mark Paleologo, a 54-year-old man.

The third character is the gun. Well, actually, it might be her vagina. But I’m jumping ahead.

Okay, so here is the story. One Saturday in early January 2014, McCarthy and Paleologo discussed aliens, and apparently the discussion became very heated because Paleologo claims that McCarthy left, put on some lingerie, and came back. Sounds like a night of fun, right? Oh no. Paleologo said that McCarthy pulled a gun from her vagina, pointed it at him, and said, “Who is crazy, you or me?”

Yeah, I think the fact that she had to ask is the first indication. The second one is that she allegedly pulled a gun out of her vagina, and the third is that she possibly actually put a gun up her vagina.

Now, McCarthy claims no such thing happened. She says that they had an argument and Paleologo choked, pushed her, and hit her. As the Huff Post article reads:

“My call to 911 obviously de-escalated the situation and at that point I thought the matter was resolved and did not require further law enforcement attention. Consequently, I tried to protect Mr. Paleologo and minimized the attack to the officer.

At no time did I point a gun at Mr. Paleologo. At no time did I place a gun or any weapon anywhere in my body.

Unfortunately, Mark’s preposterous version of events was repeated in the complaint and resulted in my arrest.”

Did I mention that all of this started because of a discussion about aliens? The Huffington Post article did not express deeper what the argument actually consisted of, but it seems that at least McCarthy took her position pretty seriously. I mean, she would have to if she actually did stick a gun up her vagina only to bring it out during moments of intimacy just to prove she wasn’t crazy. I don’t think it worked to tell the truth.

I find the weirdest news stories somehow weave themselves with relationships and genitalia. Often, these weird stories deal with the penis, but here we have an example of the weirdness of the world and the vagina. And there is something about relationships that just bring out the weird.

This story reminded me of a South Park episode where Oprah was parodied and her vagina (called Mingie in the episode) grabs a gun and levels it at the residents of South Park. The episode is called A Million Little Fibers, and it’s totally worth a viewing.

Stay tuned for future articles on weird news.

Image Credit: Thinkstock

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Rayshell E. Clapper is an Associate Professor of English at a rural college in Oklahoma where she teaches Creative Writing, Literature, and Composition classes. She has presented her original fiction and non-fiction at several conferences and events including: Scissortail Creative Writing Festival, Howlers and Yawpers Creativity Symposium, Southwest/Texas Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association Regional Conference, and Pop Culture Association/American Culture Association National Conference. Her publications include Cybersoleil Journal, Sugar Mule Literary Magazine, Red Dirt Anthology, Originals, and Oklahoma English Journal. Beyond her written works, she successfully created a writer's group in rural Oklahoma to support burgeoning writers. The written word is her passion, and all she experiences inspires that passion. She hopes to help inspire others through her words.

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