November 26, 2012

Who’s Scared Of Gravity?

Cars began as a form of transportation that could hardly amount to thirty miles per hour on pure dirt road. Even back then the aspect of speed and power intrigued our fragile little minds.

The times have changed – you will get very tired of me saying that – and our forms of transportation keep evolving. Planes, Cars, Motorcycles, even horse back riding still excites our including for a desire to speed. Skydiving, Surfing, Rollerblading, Waterskiing, watching Avatar in 3D – all these mediums provide that jolt of excitement and fun in our everyday lives.

Suppose its the same reason that our youth enjoys roller coasters so much?

That mind numbingly pleasurable sensation of gravity splitting your torso in two is magnificent.

No, I don’t need to go get that checked out.

Or maybe you’d enjoy the barrel rolls and blackout-worthy jolts of dives and climbs that your modern F-22 can exert on your mind! These sensations that we experience are clear representations of our inner desperation to please our pelvic regions with jolts of intense gravity.

So where does this inner desperation come from?

The answer, as most of the other answers to questions that I usually ask, is much more difficult to interpret than the usual ask.com.

As a child I was morally terrified of roller coasters-it hadn’t always been that way. I have vague memories of taking endless dips and dives with my mom at Astroworld (Back when Astroworld still existed in Houston), and these jolts and gravity were well welcomed with me! I suppose you can call it a childhood remedy for depression.

But eventually I got so used to keeping my feet planted on the ground that anything about six feet became a complex for me. I use to ride the Cereal Thriller for hours on end before needing to vommit. Now I get goosebumps when just looking at a Dungeon Drop. Nowadays I find myself taking deep breathes and squeezing my legs for dear god when I’m riding a Ferris Wheel.

A Ferris Wheel.

Fortunately, my predicament is solved rather easily with a plate of funnel cake and the usual taunts by my girlfriend. Sure, I payed for both of our tickets-but does she respect that? No. She’s rather see me shrink and shrivel into a ball while I watch her spend fifteen minutes flipping consistently in that stupid ride that I can’t remember because I had to use the restroom. Oh, the pleasures of being out on the town with your best girl, right?


I digress, the jolt and effect of gravity shifting rides translates to automobiles as well. Although, I feel much safer zooming down I-10 doing two hundred than spinning 40 mph in a cart with the design of a chicken coupe. Something about the control of a truck always being in my hands(Or feet) dissolves any fear of crashes or major injuries.

And my car looks sexier than a roller coaster.

Perhaps these fears and insecurities are just manifestations of my own childish dreams?

Regardless of your preference, let us know what you think in the comments!

Image Credit: Photos.com

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